Insomnia.
It’s early
and the hopeful expectation to achieve some morning burst of productivity looks distorted through the haze.
last night was another trial in the reduction of a successful method
though the only common denominator it seems
is a constant itch and a splintering headache.
hanging always over me
my paper-thin curtains are tattered and ill
a conscientious objector
more concerned with its own fragility than in keeping out the light.
and what’s more,
it’s joined forces with the persistent smell of damp
arising from some place under my bed
just out of sight.
perhaps it exists somewhere amongst the skeletons of pillbugs
and the defiant soldiers in the corners of my room
sizing me up as their next meal as I lie helpless in the night
saved solely by my labouring
sluggish atop my bed
as I navigate through the no-mans-land of collapsed springs and carved out ridges
with nothing to guide me but the contents of my twisted dreams
there is no solace there.
maybe the nauseating stench hides inside the walls,
under the odd patches of off-white paint
remaining nameless.
its only whisper heard when the light catches just right
secluding unspeakable secrets beneath its surface.
the deafening groan of the the water pump flushes and screams
twisting and contorting the base of my neck
scratching down my spine
until the dread of the siren spins uneasy in my mind.
and the dull buzzing of the extractor is an incessant itch
worn out with a forgotten purpose,
boring its dogma cleanly through my skull and out my eyes
until I there is no place left for thoughts of my own.
just as I ventured forth before,
I drudge wearily again
with singed nostrils and sunken eyes
bound by the broken promise
of one final good nights rest.